May 21, 2015

'Simple' questions...

Today was a hard day.

I had a cousin come around visit with his daughter. I kept his daughter happy while he spoke to my Mum.

And as he was leaving, he asked me this question -

'Are you looking for work yet?'

A simple question, it would seem. But to me, it was a massive kick in the guts.

All I said was 'Not yet' and looked away.

Obviously he has no idea what is happening with me, or how a seemingly innocent question could actually make me feel.

What people don't realize is that with questions like that, is that it makes me overthink and to the surface comes, 'who would employ a fat, depressed woman who doesn't even know if she can get up to actually go to work'. And then it snowballs to just wanting to end it all because then I wouldn't get questions like that anymore. And feel totally demoralised.

These are the times when I turn to my bed. And just sleep it off. Let the tears run down my face. I am usually texting someone about the whole situation. Who will talk me down from the hysteria that's going on in my head.

So, if you know someone who is depressed or suffers anxiety, make sure you think about the questions you ask. Because your 2 seconds of thinking may save someone else 2 weeks of thinking.


*** Please, ask for help if you need it. Beyond Blue is a great resource and starting point but if you need immediate help, do not hesitate to call Lifeline ***

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